Can Love and Lust Coexist in a Relationship? | PairedLife
Sometimes it can be difficult to tell if you're really over someone. weakness, or late at night, be honest — do you still think about your ex? But even if it doesn't feel like you're still in love with them, having them on your mind That will come down to the way you're still feeling about your ex and the past. What does someone really mean when they say "I love you but I'm not in love It encompasses what we mean when we say that being in a good relationship takes work. a grandparent, or a nursery school teacher, and later we may meet someone Feelings of love come and go just like feelings of sadness or happiness. Although better late than never, the timing was a little unfortunate, as it was three weeks When it comes to relationships, can love grow?.
What we should realize is that our relationship is really based on an agreement that we will stay together for life. We are not perfect so for what ever reason if that didn't happen, try to do it right the next time.
The love, lust, and respect you have the rest of your life to work on. You can perfect your combination by learning and cultivating new habits to make things better.
The best thing in that situation is to see how you can better serve the other person. In time, you both can grow and change for the better.
You want more love. Learn how to be more loving and eventually it may come back to you. You want more respect, be always respectful and it will return back to you.
- The Dilemma of Love, Lust and Respect
- What Is Lust?
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You want more mutual feelings lust as you will saycultivate that and you will eventually reap a great harvest. If all of those things don't work. Thank God for the patience, the longsuffering, the kindness and all his wonderful attributes you are learning from just trying to be a better person in your relationship. Life is to short. Learn to be the best you you can be, for others.
Eventually you will leave this world a better place.10 MISTAKES THAT WILL DESTROY YOUR RELATIONSHIP BUT WE DO IT EVERY DAY!
We all have to go sometime. Our habits don't just affect the person that is close to us. We leave a little piece in the puzzle of life that affects the entire outcome of humanity for eternity.
That's all that matters. She-Wolf 20 months ago My spouse and I have been together for at the time writing this 13 going on 14 years. We have times where we just do a quick kiss then go to bed then, there are times we are on each other still acting like a couple of horny teenagers.
Neither of us has really felt the need to get married not that we haven't talked about it. There is even another aspect to this Timetraveler2 2 years ago What you're discussing with regards to respect and lust is the old "Madonna" complex. Once some men gain respect and admiration for a woman, they begin to view her much in the same way as they view their mothers.
No normal man would ever dream of having sex with his own mother! It's probably more common than we realize. I've recently made the decision to commit to a woman whom I've been enjoying wonderful sex with, and it's almost like my physical desire for her has disappeared overnight.
The stronger the feelings are in my chest, the lesser they are in my loins. Cannot tell you how reassuring it is to have this article validate my experience. Isaac 3 years ago Lust alone ruins; Love respects; and respect may not always love, but it does at times and when that happens, adoration of the respected-lusted after individual takes root To keep things in perfect harmony, love must reign supreme in order to find lust and respect It's a great thought Your explanation of your three relationships makes something very clear that is important.
That is, the order of the development of the three things. From your experience it is absolutely clear that the best relationship, and a lasting one, has a better chance if respect comes first. Then lust, and finally - love. It is also understandable that lust will always deminish over time as people age. But respect can never be taken away as long as it is based on truth. And as far a love goes, that's always something that takes time to grow and can continue growing with the right ingredients.
I'm glad you found your third love. That sure sounds like a keeper. T 4 years ago I've been in three serious relationships, the first we had an amazing connection. Love, lust and respect were all very strong. We focused our energy on the love and lust side of things and I started losing respect for her, until things became complicated, she cheated and it ended. The second was mostly lustful, a bit of love developed but again, little respect. I saw this going in the same direction as the first relationship so I ended it.
The third one began with the foundation of respect, a little lust crept in, love developed and we got married and had a baby. The lust has dimished, but love and respect prevail. I often wonder if there was more lust, would it weaken my respect for my wife, and after reading this post I think it might do.
Certainly, I see the appeal to having a lustful relationship, it's fun! But I don't know that it is a stable foundation for a healthy relationship as it was detrimental to my first two relationships. Sooner or later, the woman will realise she is not being respected, but lusted after, and I believe most women would rather be respected by their partner than lusted after.
I'm now starting to think that lust can be problematic if that part of the relationship is focused on and developed more than love and respect.
I think lust is something that needs to be managed and controlled and not allowed to take over. My 2 cents anyway: Jane 5 years ago I would argue that it is not love or respect, but familiarity and the almost inevitable complacency that develop in a relationship that kills lust and sometimes respect and love.
Why is the death of lust so much more commonplace than the other two? Maybe because it is primal. Maybe it is because it is seen as a cardinal sin in the modern Western world. Your explanation is a useful method for all couples who feel that something is slipping away. Thanks for stopping by. Amanda Jones 5 years ago Excellent hub Glenn, you gave an insight on a very controversial subject.
What is a healthy relationship? - Business Insider
When you love someone you feel more tenderness and care for this person, but I'm not saying that there can't be lust in their relationship. I suggest for couples who want to feel lust in their long term relationship to experimentalize, what I mean is to try something different, something unusual, follow your instincts at unusual place or time, maybe then you'll feel lust again. Joshua Rueff 5 years ago from Kansas City You're welcome! That article is definitely something I'd be interested in - when I get the chance, I'll head over to read it.
I know exactly what you mean about language not having the right words. I mentioned in it that Arabic has 40 words for Camel. What it all boils down to is that we can only express ourselves as well as the language we use allows us. So in English our love of a spouse is not decipherable from our love of peanut butter.
I like the way you think. Thanks for the vote up. Joshua Rueff 5 years ago from Kansas City Great hub, I like your analysis of love and lust - I think the English language tends to fail in this category especially; I love my wife, and yet I love peanut butter In Greek, there are 4 words for love I think: Agape, Eros, Phileo, and Koinonia or something like that it's been awhile Voted up, great post!
Glenn Stok 5 years ago from Long Island, NY Laurel - I have to agree with you about that being healthy when you can have both feelings at the same time. It's something that some people need to work on to have a healthy relationship.
I am sure that communication on the topic can help. Thanks for stopping by and for your comment. Laurel 5 years ago For me it is the exact opposite of what you describe. If I am attracted to a man, and if I respect him, then the love and the lust get stronger. I think that is healthy. Teylina 6 years ago Glenn, I wonder if personalities have anything to do with this?
An interesting question, on which I vehemently answer Yes! Two marriages and a few relationships at my age I'm entitled to more but But in my opinion, there could also have been others — you just chose this one.
Think a house you co-own, a joint bank account, or a pet you both take care of. Research suggests that material constraints make a breakup a lot less likely. Presumably, that's because it's harder to disentangle yourself from the relationship when it's not just the two of you.
Can Love Grow? Or Does True Love Begin With an Instant Spark?
So it's wise — if slightly uncomfortable — to think in advance about what you'd do if the relationship dissolved. Specifically, Birch argues that many men and women may be on different timelines: While men want to feel established professionally and financially before settling down, women can work on love and their career at the same time. Birch urges women to take men seriously when they say they're "not ready" for a serious relationship right now.
That may mean moving on to someone else who does feel ready, instead of wasting your time hanging around. If anything, racial bias has intensified a bit. The key is not to freak out. Rachel Sussman, a relationship expert and marriage counselor in New York City, told Business Insider that the decline of passion in a relationship is perfectly normal — and that you can lure it back.
One strategy is to schedule sex; another is to try a new and exciting activity together. Above all, try to be patient while you work on things. If you like going to football games and your partner doesn't, you can probably find a friend to go with you instead.
But if you're interested in earning more money and status and your partner doesn't care, that could be a problem.
Karl Pillemer, a professor of human development at Cornell University, spoke with a series of older Americans for his book " 30 Lessons for Loving " and heard a lot about the importance of shared values. You'll want to cover values around children, money, and religion — and whatever else is important to you.
One year-old man put it in very frank terms: It's going to go downhill. That there will be times when one or both of them want out and can barely stand the sight of each other.