BBC - Future - The enduring enigma of female sexual desire
When we begin to look for friends of the opposite-sex, or cross-sex Participants who reported no physical or sexual attraction to their friend were in The attraction men and women develop in cross-sex relationships may. We're also coming to realise that male and female desire might not be as Some studies have even found that men in relationships are as This makes sense when thinking in terms of sex's ultimate purpose: making babies. experience orgasm purely through thought, with no physical contact at all. Opposite-sex friendships (OSFs) provide individuals with a wider net of quality OSF because of sexual attraction and availability is more important to men and participants with . in sexual relations without emotional attachment and is as-.
The finding has the potential to help couples, the researchers said. Knowing that many women's sexual desire diminishes over the course of a relationship could encourage both partners to be more realistic about their sex lives, and could help them weather the changes in desire as they occur.
Sex researchers Sarah Murray and Robin Milhausen, both of the University of Guelph in Ontario, Canada, asked undergraduate women and men who had been in heterosexual relationships for anywhere from one month to nine years to report on their levels of relationship satisfactionsexual satisfaction and sexual desire.
Desire was scored using an established model called the Female Sexual Function Index, which ranges from 1. The participants reported being generally satisfied with their relationships and sex lives, but women reported lower levels of desire depending on the length of their relationship. In fact, relationship duration was a better predictor of sexual desire in women than both relationship and sexual satisfaction.
Men and Women Can't Be "Just Friends" - Scientific American
Yet evolutionary theorists predict that male desire should remain perpetually high in order for them to produce many offspring, while female desire should decrease as their attention turns, historically, toward child-rearing.
The new research points toward the latter theory, although longer-duration studies on different groups of people are still needed, Murray said. The women in these friendships, however, seem to have a completely different orientation—one that is actually platonic.
To the outside observer, it seems clear that these vastly different views about the potential for romance in opposite-sex friendships could cause serious complications—and people within opposite-sex relationships agree.
In a follow-up study, adults many of whom were married were asked to list the positive and negative aspects of being friends with a specific member of the opposite sex. Variables related to romantic attraction e. However, the differences between men and women appeared here as well. Males were significantly more likely than females to list romantic attraction as a benefit of opposite-sex friendships, and this discrepancy increased as men aged—males on the younger end of the spectrum were four times more likely than females to report romantic attraction as a benefit of opposite-sex friendships, whereas those on the older end of the spectrum were ten times more likely to do the same.
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Although women seem to be genuine in their belief that opposite-sex friendships are platonic, men seem unable to turn off their desire for something more. And even though both genders agree overall that attraction between platonic friends is more negative than positive, males are less likely than females to hold this view.
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Life without sex – it's better than you think
At first, after the break-up, I could have gone one of two ways. I could have dived head-first into a flurry of empty, hedonistic sex in a quest for revenge against all women for my ex-partner's abandonment of me.
I didn't; although it crossed my mind. Instead, at first, I took some time out to grieve for the loss of a relationship that had meant a lot to me and, to be honest, to feel bloody sorry for myself.
But what to do after that? After I had spent some time in thought, both consciously and sub-consciously, I slowly came to the conclusion that celibacy was the way forward.
I know within that I could live a life of permanent isolation like an anchorite, yet I know also that I would not want to. Frankly, I love women.
Why Women Lose Interest in Sex
I love their company, the sound of their voices, the way that although they occupy the same physical space as us blokes yet they seem to inhabit it so totally differently. The thought of not sharing their company was, and is, unthinkable to me.
I have always preferred sex within a relationship to one-night stands. I am not a puritan, but I prefer the greater intimacy that you can achieve through a shared exploration of each other's body and desires.
Yet I could not, in conscience, enter into a relationship bringing the baggage of my illness; it would not be fair to do so. Neither to a partner or, conceivably, any potential children who might inherit my illness.