Top Ten Indicators that You May Suffer from Codependency
Learn more about codependency and relationships at Mental Health ago as the result of years of studying interpersonal relationships in families of alcoholics. Sep 11, Codependency recovery requires abstinence in the form of physical and/or In most cases of drug or alcohol addiction, recovery is only possible with .. I am just now realizing how codependant I was in my relationship with. How Addiction Often Leads to Codependency in Family Relationships In families where addiction is present, the addict or alcoholic wants to be comfortable.
This may include spouses, parents, siblings and friends. They may actually blame the codependent party for the continued failure of the substance user and force them to attend therapy and counseling. This oftentimes creates feelings of resentment, anxiety and helplessness; rendering the family member incapable of providing real help to the substance user.
In these instances, it is not uncommon for the user to become mean, abusive, intimidating and controlling. Should one of the partners decide that it is time to get out of the situation or relationshipthe substance user may do everything or say anything to get them to stay. In this case, it is usually a promise that things will change.
If the partner stays in the relationship, hoping that this time will be different, they are labeled as codependent when in reality they are making a decision they feel is in the best interests of everyone involved.
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If the substance user continues with their problematic behavior and the partner chooses to stay, it is not because they are sick, or codependent, it is because they simply made the choice to stay. Codependence is a diagnosis that is given to loved ones of substance users who have shown unconditional love and support in spite of negative and sometimes drastic consequences.
Codependents often do not understand boundaries. Feeling used and unappreciated for all the codependent does: When the help or advice is ignored or rejected, the codependent feels angry, abused, and unappreciated.
Trying to please people so others will like or love the codependent: Codependents will go out of their way to please another, hoping to receive love, approval, or be accepted and liked.
Is Codependency Affecting Your Relationships | Hazelden Betty Ford
If the approval is not given, the codependent will feel victimized. This makes the need to feel in control paramount. Feeling like a victim: Everything that happens either to the codependent or the loved one is a reflection on the codependent.
Such people usually feel victimized and powerless and do not understand their role in creating their own reality. To get their way codependents will respond in a fashion that will force compliance by others.
These tactics may be unconscious. Fearing rejection and being unlovable: A codependent does not trust others easily or share openly because he or she will be exposed.
How Do Co-dependent People Behave? Co-dependents have low self-esteem and look for anything outside of themselves to make them feel better.
Others may develop compulsive behaviors like workaholism, gambling, or indiscriminate sexual activity. They have good intentions.
They try to take care of a person who is experiencing difficulty, but the caretaking becomes compulsive and defeating. Co-dependents view themselves as victims and are attracted to that same weakness in the love and friendship relationships.
Characteristics of Co-dependent People Are: