A businessman boards a flight
penis and Polish men have the biggest average diameter. By the way my name is Jill. What's yours?" He coolly replies, "Tonto Kowalski, nice to meet you.". Tonto Kowalski was a man who appeared in Episode 5. Tonto is a buisnessman who gets on a flight. Without hesitation he replies, 'Tonto Kowalski, nice to meet you.' Firstly, reflect on thisjoke in terms of what we know about incongruity. We can easily identify an.
Do parts of your body tingle when you get free cell phone minutes? Does raising your kids interfere with programming your speed dial? Do you have long-distance conversations while sitting on the toilet? Does the term fashion statement mean matching your outfit with your cell phone carrying case? Does the sound of static trigger memories of ill-fated connections? Do you use the menu light as your night light? Does it take you an hour on a regular phone to get the same feeling of a five-minute cellular call?
When receiving a phone call, do you ask the film projectionist to lower the volume of the movie? Two atoms were walking through Central Park. I think I picked up an extra electron. The FDA refused to license it. Seems it was habitforming. Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. Just look at all the joints. The nervous system is bristling with thousands of electrical connections.
Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area? I need something for my eyes. Prood Thank you for your letter of July After careful consideration I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me employment with your firm. This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of corporate candidates it is impossible for me to accept all refusals for employment.
I find that your rejection does not meet with my needs at this time. Therefore, I will initiate employment with your firm immediately following graduation. I look forward to seeing you then, best of luck in rejecting future candidates. Albert Hawkins Two guys are driving through Alabama when they get pulled over by a state trooper. The trooper walks up and taps on the window with his nightstick.
The driver lowers the window and the trooper smacks him in the head with the stick. What did you do that for? When I pull you over you have your license ready. He hands the driver the license and walks around to the passenger side where again he taps on the window. The passenger rolls his window down and the trooper gives him a good crack in the head with the nightstick.
A pussy needs encouragement. Beer A beer tastes horrible served hot. A pussy is best served hot. Pussy Ice cold beer is satisfying. Ice cold pussy is Hillary Clinton. Beer Pussy hair in beer is disgusting. Pussy Beers come in a box. A pussy is a box you come in.
Pussy Head is not welcome on a beer. Pussy Beer, brewed with yeast is consumable. Beer Come home smelling like beer and your wife might get angry. Come home smelling like pussy and she will definitely get angry. Beer 6 beers in a night and you better not drive. Pussy With beer bigger is better. Beer Wearing a condom does not make a beer any less enjoyable. Beer Pussy can make you see God. Beer can make you see the porcelain God. Pussy Peeling labels off of beers is fun. Peeling panties off of pussy is more fun.
If you snag a beer at work you get fired. If you snag pussy at work you get sexual harassment. Tie Suddenly drop a beer and it might break. Beer If you change to another beer your old brand will gladly welcome you back. Beer The best pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Almost all but the above. Pussy The government taxes beer. At the pearly gates, St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room where he introduced him to God. Second, it chatters constantly at high speeds. Third, most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much. Next, the intake is placed way too close to the exhaust. Finally, the maintenance costs are outrageous.
You may have some good points there. He typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it quietly. As the speck gets closer and closer he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat or even a raft. Suddenly, emerging from the surf is a drop-dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She approaches the stunned guy and asks. She reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pocket of fresh cigarettes.
Is that ever good! A small rabbit saw the crow and asked him. Suddenly, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. To sit idly you must sit very high up. A turkey was chatting with a bull.
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat : Jokes
The next day, after eating some more dung he reached the second branch. Finally after two weeks, he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. There, a farmer spotted him and shot him. When the human body was first created all of the parts wanted to be Boss. All the parts laughed at the idea of the anus being the Boss. So the anus went on strike, blocking itself up.
Soon the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually, they all decided that the anus should be the Boss. So the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit! It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero as the little blonde got off work.
She made her way to her car and wondered how she was going to make it home. She sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about her situation. That way she would not get stuck in a snowdrift. This made her feel much better and sure enough a snowplow soon passed by and she started to follow it. As she followed the snowplow she was feeling very smug.
She was having no difficulty at all, with the blizzard conditions.
The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer. The dog proceeded to demonstrate his expertise with various programs and produced a sample spreadsheet and database and presented them to the manager.
By this time the manager was totally dumbfounded! He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities.
However, I still can't give you the job. The manager said, "Yes, but the sign also says that you have to be bilingual. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.
Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, ""Can I help you? He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single.
Travel Jokes While On The Road
One day he decides to throw a huge party, and during the party he announces, "My dear guests. I have a proposition to every man here. I will give one million dollars or my daughter to the man who can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge alive! After a while, he asks her about the book she is reading.
They continue chatting for awhile more, and eventually she says "By the way, my name is Tania. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and next thing you know, they're standing before St. First came one of the straight guys and his wife. Peter shook his head sadly.
You loved money too much. You loved it so much, you even married a woman named Penny. You loved food too much. You loved to eat so much, you even married a woman named Candy! She informed Jim that she suffered a disease that left her breasts at the maturity level of a 12 year old. He stated that it was OK because he loved her soooo much. However, Jim felt this was also the time for him to open up and admit that he also had a deformity.
Jim looked Sandy in the eyes and said My penis is the same size as an infant and I hope you could deal with that once we are married. Jim whisked Sandy off to their hotel suite and they started touching, teasing, holding one another As Sandy put her hands in Jim's pants she began to scream and ran out of the room!
Jim ran after her to find out what was wrong. She said, "You told me your penis was the size of an infant! Every night after dinner, Howard goes to a secluded garden behind the center to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life. One evening, Annabel, age 87, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat, and before they know it, several hours have passed.