5 Awesome Tips To Save Long Distance Relationships
Here are some tips and ways to save your dying long distance relationship. Its success depends on one important factor: making the same choice, the same. If you are looking for ways to save your long distance relationship, I am willing to be you are in a bit of a panic right now! Firstly, you sort of need to resolve that. Two people far away from each other physically but yet too close by their thoughts, separated by distance but bound together really tight by love, even the .
For starters, especially when one or both of you is busy, it can become easy not to invest in connecting deeply with your partner. In-depth conversations can become fewer and farther in between.
The Unedited Truth About Trying To Save A Long-Distance Relationship
It can become habitual to mostly talk about how your day was, or keep the conversation fairly superficial and brief. Try talking only a couple of times a week for a while so that you can recharge. Then, when you do talk, focus. Jealousy Feeling a little jealous now and again is not unusual in a relationship, particularly when you are separated from your loved one. A little jealousy can even spark fresh attraction and a new appreciation for your partner.
However, while a single candle can illuminate a room, a blaze can burn it to the ground. Uncontrolled jealousy can lead to a destructive combination of suspicion, possessiveness, insecurity, anger, and shame.
Controlling jealousy is not easy, but it can be done. Take a look at this article for more on the nuts and bolts of how to get a handle on overcoming jealousy: Jumping in the deep end Growing apart is a particular pitfall for couples that were established before they started doing long distance.
Couples who like I did start their relationship across distance face almost the opposite problem—the temptation to become too emotionally intimate, too quickly.
In some ways, getting to know someone via email and phone calls can help your relationship. The distance can force you to talk about all sorts of things you might not have discussed if doing other things or, um, each other was a realistic option. On the other hand, falling in love long distance is a risky business.
Remember that the rules of long distance relationships should be the same as those posted at public pools: Walk, do not run. And no diving in headfirst. Take your time getting to know each other. Approaching your new relationship in a measured manner may yield benefits for years to come.
Miscommunications Miscommunications and misunderstandings happen frequently in relationships. They happen when you share the same house with someone. Luckily for me, Mike is not easily offended or hurt or, for that matter, deterred. Another time, Mike and I were discussing something that I was very worried about. This makes effective communication harder. When you feel confused or hurt, remember that you may have misunderstood what your partner said or meant!
Ask questions to clarify, and really try to respond thoughtfully rather than just react. Beyond any specific incident, learn the natural similarities and differences in your communication styles, and how each of you tends to react to frustration, disappointment, or conflict.
Check out this article series on managing conflict in long distance relationships. Stonewalling People sometimes email me about their long distance relationship and say something like this: What should I do?
It is using silence as a weapon or an escape. It is controlling the situation by simply refusing to engage. Distance makes this particularly easy to do, and it can drive your long distance partner crazy with frustration, second-guessing, and self-doubt. If you catch yourself stonewalling, ask yourself why. Are you trying to punish or hurt the other person? Or are you mostly taking what looks like the easy way out by avoiding complicated emotions or discussions? Whatever the answer is, stop it.
When your partner does get back in touch, tell them how hurt and frustrated it made you feel to get the silent treatment. Tell them how you wish they had dealt with the situation instead of disengaging.
Becoming possessive Another issue that often pops up in my inbox goes something like this: Distance can make it harder to trust and easier for jealousy and insecurity to run rampant. This combination often fuels possessive and controlling behavior. If you are feeling and acting possessive, try to figure out why.
This is a complicated issue, and that might not be easy to do. You can, however, act less controlling even before you sort out all your feelings. Take a hard look at what you are asking for from your partner in terms of contact, accessibility, and updates. However the speed with which couples embark on such a relationship is often matched by how quickly it falls apart.
Almost all long distance relationship problems can be saved from a break up by keeping phone conversations interesting. With this book you can make your partner look forward to your phone conversations even when you're separated by thousands of miles.
Set the parameters If you have just getting to know someone located in another city or if your partner is moving to a new place, it might be useful to establish the parameters of your long distance relationship early on.
Also clarify whether this is an exclusive relationship or you are allowed to date other people. Addressing these points might seem awkward initially but down the line it will not only help you both to be clear about mutual expectations but also prevent you from falling prey to insecurities and anxieties. Explore all possible means of communication Every relationship needs effective communication to thrive but when couples are separated by physical distance, it becomes necessary for the very survival of a relationship.
The Unedited Truth About Trying To Save A Long-Distance Relationship | Thought Catalog
While traditional means of communication like letters, cards and phone calls are always welcome, get tech-savvy and instantly connected to your partner by online chatting, VoIP programs and Skype for the visual connection. Your conversations need not always be about how much you are missing each other. Over time this kind of interaction will become second nature to you both and in the process keep the lines of communication open should you need to discuss more important issues.
It is perfectly alright ask your partner about his plans for Saturday night. Rather let your partner know that while you enjoy hearing from them and keeping in touch, you are mature enough to let them live their own life too. This will not only prevent you from appearing insecure and clingy but in fact keep your partner interested in the relationship. Go the extra mile Literally so. However If you need to watch your pennies at the same time, agree to take turns to fly down or meet somewhere half-way.