How To Handle A Breakup: 10 Do’s and 5 Don’ts | Thought Catalog
You can develop coping skills, become more independent, have more time to spend with friends and do the things that you enjoy. A break-up can bring a sense. Coping with a breakup or divorce can be intensely painful. These Even when a relationship is no longer good, a divorce or breakup can be extremely painful. Surviving a relationship break-up can be one of the most difficult things we ever do and on strategies to cope with your break-up in the healthiest way possible.
Numerous studies have shown that increased social support in the face of adversity such as bereavement, sexual assault, canceror even war leads to better mental and physical health. And, an increase in such support was proven to reduce depression and post-traumatic stress. An important thing to remember about social support, however, is that it comes in many different shapes and sizes.
You may need empathy and emotional support primarily, but in addition, people can offer "informational support" such as giving you advice on coping, "tangible support" in the form of financial help, and "social companionship" such as simply being there with you so you have someone to go to the movies with. All of these things help. This might sound intuitive to you, but in my experience, it's vital to remember that different people offer different kinds of support, because when the pain is excruciating and nobody seems to truly grasp what you're going through, you may feel disappointed and depressed.
Instead of letting this upset you, try to make the best of what you're offered. For example, maybe your parents aren't the most empathetic humans out there, or maybe they'll jump to conclusions about what you did "wrong" in your relationship. However, they may also do everything that is "tangibly" in their power to help, from cooking you meals to lending you money.
Accept what they have to offer, and for those moments when you need someone to listen to your feelings and agree with you, call your best friend from high school. Get a therapist That being said, it could well be the case that your need for empathy and being listened to may overwhelm mere mortals.
Not everyone succeeds at empathy, as Dr. And even if people are great at empathy, sometimes what you feel is overwhelming. So, if that's the case for you, do what Carrie Bradshaw did in Season 2 when she couldn't stop obsessing about Mr. A therapist was my first port of call, as I realized pretty early on that I couldn't go on by myself — and I'm very glad that I did. My therapist helped me see patterns in myself that I wasn't aware of my psychological blindspot and helped me learn and grow as a person.
As Mental Health America adviseyou should never be afraid to get outside help if you need it. They also offer a comprehensive list of affordable mental health services, as well as counseling directories where you can search for a therapist near you or a provider that accepts Medicaid. Get a pet In the first months immediately after my breakup, I did a lot of crying at unsociable hours, when I least expected it, and in different corners of the floor of my apartment. Your pet can provide invaluable support.
Studies have shown that listing things you're thankful for can boost your well-being and brighten your outlook on life. Meyers suggests keeping a gratitude journal to help turn your attention to the positive.
Dealing with a Breakup or Divorce: Grieving and Moving on After a Relationship Ends
You may initially have to force yourself to think of things you're grateful for, but as you repeat the process, the bad won't feel so all-consuming anymore. And you might find yourself feeling thankful that you no longer have to deal with your ex's bad habits!
After a bad breakup, it's hard to get excited about the things you loved pre-split -- but the only way to start enjoying yourself again is to force yourself to get out and do them anyway.
Treat yourself to something that make you feel good, whether it's a cup of coffee with a friend or a massage. Self-care is essential to the healing process, and doing things that make you smile can help you heal, says Meyers. Try going to the movies to check out a new comedy or inviting your friends over to marathon-watch "Arrested Development": Laughing has been shown to boost mood and improve overall health, and the support of your friends will help ease feelings of loneliness and isolation.
Try An 'Obsession Diet. Most of us have had to deal with a friend who can't talk about anything but her ex for months after the breakup, and it's not pretty. You don't want to get to the point where your BFFs have to stage a friend-tervention to get you off the couch and out into the single world.
To push yourself past the "constant agonizing" stage, Meyers recommends putting yourself on an "obsession diet" not to be confused with the aforementioned, and unadvisable, breakup diet. For five minutes per hour, she explains, you can obsess, write and indulge in self-pity all you want.
How To Handle A Breakup: 10 Do’s and 5 Don’ts
It's a way to channel the urge and also feel the sense of control. Remember that moving on is the end goal — Expressing your feelings will liberate you in a way, but it is important not to dwell on the negative feelings or to over-analyze the situation. Getting stuck in hurtful feelings like blame, anger, and resentment will rob you of valuable energy and prevent you from healing and moving forward.
Remind yourself that you still have a future — When you commit to another person, you create many hopes and dreams for a life together. After a breakup, it's hard to let these aspirations go. As you grieve the loss of the future you once envisioned, be encouraged by the fact that new hopes and dreams will eventually replace your old ones.
Know the difference between a normal reaction to a breakup and depression — Grief can be paralyzing after a breakup, but after a while, the sadness begins to lift. Day by day, and little by little, you start moving on. Helping your kids during a breakup or divorce Children and Divorce: Helping Kids Cope When mom and dad split, a child can feel confused, angry, and uncertain as well as profoundly sad.
As a parent, you can help your kids cope with the breakup by providing stability and attending to your child's needs with a reassuring, positive attitude.
How to cope with a breakup (the healthy way)
Reach out to others for support Support from others is critical to healing after a breakup or divorce. You might feel like being alone, but isolating yourself will only make this time more difficult.
Connect face-to-face with trusted friends and family members. People who have been through painful breakups or divorces can be especially helpful. They know what it is like and they can assure you that there is hope for healing and new relationships. Frequent face-to-face contact is also a great way to relieve the stress of a breakup and regain balance in your life. Spend time with people who support, value, and energize you.
As you consider who to reach out to, choose wisely. Surround yourself with people who are positive and who truly listen to you. Get outside help if you need it.
The most important thing is that you have at least one place where you feel comfortable opening up. If you feel like you have lost your social network along with the divorce or breakup, make an effort to meet new people. Join a networking group or special interest club, take a class, get involved in community activities, or volunteer at a school, place of worship, or other community organization.
Taking care of yourself after a breakup A divorce is a highly stressful, life-changing event. The strain and upset of a major breakup can leave you psychologically and physically vulnerable. Get plenty of rest, minimize other sources of stress in your life, and reduce your workload if possible.
Learning to take care of yourself can be one of the most valuable lessons you learn following a breakup. As you feel the emotions of your loss and begin learning from your experience, you can resolve to take better care of yourself and make positive choices going forward.
Make time each day to nurture yourself. Help yourself heal by scheduling daily time for activities you find calming and soothing. Spend time with good friends, go for a walk in nature, listen to music, enjoy a hot bath, get a massage, read a favorite book, take a yoga class, or savor a warm cup of tea.