Intrapersonal and interpersonal relationship skills at work

intrapersonal and interpersonal relationship skills at work

We use interpersonal skills everyday to communicate and interact with others. Develop your interpersonal skills and enjoy better relationships at work and home. We often define ourselves through action, but the definition doesn't work very well . When you are a ERIC Clearinghouse on reading and communication skills. The difference between Intrapersonal and Interpersonal communication is in the recipient of Skills needed for interpersonal communication are self-awareness, community program,, (Middle East # 01 Job website) - 5 years ago.

That interaction can be internal, as in intrapersonal communication, but can also be external. We may communicate with one other person and engage in interpersonal communication. If we engage two or more individuals up to eight normallygroup communication is the result. More than eight normally results in subdivisions within the group and a reversion to smaller groups of three to four membersMcLean, S. With each new person comes a multiplier effect on the number of possible interactions, and for many that means the need to establish limits.

Dimensions of Self Who are you? You are more than your actions, and more than your communication, and the result may be greater than the sum of the parts, but how do you know yourself?

In the first of the Note Was it a challenge? Can five words capture the essence of what you consider yourself to be? Was your twenty to fifty description easier? Or was it equally challenging? Did your description focus on your characteristics, beliefs, actions, or other factors associated with you? If you compared your results with classmates or coworkers, what did you observe? For many, these exercises can prove challenging as we try to reconcile the self-concept we perceive with what we desire others to perceive about us, as we try to see ourselves through our interactions with others, and as we come to terms with the idea that we may not be aware or know everything there is to know about ourselves.

A graphic model for interpersonal relations. University of California Western Training Lab. An introduction to group dynamics 2nd ed. In the first quadrant of the figure, information is known to you and others, such as your height or weight. The third quadrant involves information that you know, but do not reveal to others. Finally, the fourth quadrant involves information that is unknown to you and your conversational partners.

For example, a childhood experience that has been long forgotten or repressed may still motivate you. No one knows because it has not happened.

Effective Intrapersonal Communication |

In the context of business communication, the self plays a central role. How do you describe yourself? Do your career path, job responsibilities, goals, and aspirations align with what you recognize to be your talents?

Key Takeaway Self-concept involves multiple dimensions and is expressed in internal monologue and social comparisons. Discuss your results with your classmates. How would you describe yourself in terms of the dimensions of self as shown in Figure Discuss your thoughts with a classmate.

Can you think of a job or career that would be a good way for you to express yourself? Are you pursuing that job or career? Why or why not? Discuss your answer with a classmate. But if you had to compose an entirely original answer, would it prove to be a challenge? Perhaps at first this might appear to be a simple task.

You have to work and your job required your participation in a meeting, or you care about someone and met him or her for lunch. Both scenarios make sense on the surface, but we have to consider the why with more depth. Why that meeting, and why that partner? Why not another job, or a lunch date with someone else?

We may also recognize that not all our needs are met by any one person, job, experience, or context; instead, we diversify our communication interactions in order to meet our needs. Motivation and personality 2nd ed. Perhaps you saw it in negotiation or international business classes and came to recognize its universal applicability. We need the resources listed in level one i. If we have met those basic needs, we move to level two: We want to make sure we are safe and that our access to air, food, and water is secure.

A job may represent this level of safety at its most basic level. Regardless of how much satisfaction you may receive from a job well done, a paycheck ultimately represents meeting basic needs for many. Still, for others, sacrifice is part of the job. Can you think of any professions that require individuals to make decisions where the safety of others comes first?

If we feel safe and secure, we are more likely to seek the companionship of others. Humans tend to form groups naturally, and if basic needs are met, love and belonging occur in level three. You may have known how to do something, but not how it was done at your new place of work.

Conflict may have been part of your experience, but if you were lucky, a mentor or coworker took the first step and helped you find your way. As you came to know what was what and who was who, you learned how to negotiate the landscape and avoid landmines. Your self-esteem level four improved as you perceived a sense of belonging, but still may have lacked the courage to speak up. Over time, you may have learned your job tasks and the strategies for succeeding in your organization.

If one of them came to you with a problem, you would know how to handle it. You are now looked up to by others and by yourself within the role, with your ability to make a difference. Where they look back and see that they once felt at the mercy of others, particularly when they were new, they can now influence and direct aspects of the work environment that were once unavailable.

Beyond self-actualization, Maslow recognizes our innate need to know level six that drives us to grow and learn, explore our environment, or engage in new experiences. We come to appreciate a sense of self that extends beyond our immediate experiences, beyond the function, and into the community and the representational. We can take in beauty for its own sake, and value aesthetics level seven that we previously ignored or had little time to consider.

It may have been just gossip before, but now it is real. You may feel a sense of uncertainty and be concerned about your status as a valued employee. Do you have reason to worry about losing your job?

Conflict may be more frequent in the workplace, and you may feel compelled to go over your personal budget and reprioritize your spending. You may eliminate museum visits and donations, and you may decide to start saving money as the future is less certain.

This theory of interpersonal needs is individualistic, and many cultures are not centered on the individual, but it does serve to start our discussion about interpersonal needs. What do we need? Why do we communicate? The answers to both questions are often related.

William Schutz offers an alternate version of interpersonal needs. Like Maslow, he considers the universal aspects of our needs, but he outlines how they operate within a range or continuum for each person. Science and Behavior Books. According to Schutz, the need for affection Related to the need for appreciation. We all need to be recognized and feel like we belong, but may have differing levels of expectations to meet that need. When part of the merger process is announced and the news of layoffs comes, those coworkers who have never been particularly outgoing and have largely kept to themselves may become even more withdrawn.

Schutz describes underpersonals People who seek limited interaction. On the opposite end of the spectrum, you may know people where you work that are often seeking attention and affirmation. Schutz describes overpersonals People who have a strong need to be liked and constantly seek attention from others.

The person who strikes a healthy balance is called a personal individual The person who strikes a healthy balance in terms of human interaction.

Humans also have a need for control The ability to influence people and events. But that need may vary by the context, environment, and sense of security. You may have already researched similar mergers, as well as the forecasts for the new organization, and come to realize that your position and your department are central to the current business model.

You may have also of taken steps to prioritize your budget, assess your transferable skills, and look for opportunities beyond your current context. Schutz would describe your efforts to control your situation as autocratic Self-directed in terms of control. At the same time there may be several employees who have not taken similar steps who look to you and others for leadership, in effect abdicating their responsibility.

Abdicrats People who shift the burn of responsibility from themselves to others. Democrats People who share the need for control between the individual and the group. Finally, Schutz echoes Maslow in his assertion that belonging is a basic interpersonal need, but notes that it exists within a range or continuum, where some need more and others less.

Undersocials People who are less likely to seek interaction, may prefer smaller groups, and will generally not be found on center stage. Oversocials People who crave the spotlight of attention and are highly motivated to seek belonging.

A social person Person who strikes a healthy balance between being withdrawn and being the constant center of attention. Schutz describes these three interpersonal needs of affection, control, and belonging as interdependent and variable.

In one context, an individual may have a high need for control, while in others he or she may not perceive the same level of motivation or compulsion to meet that need. Both Maslow and Schutz offer us two related versions of interpersonal needs that begin to address the central question: We communicate with each other to meet our needs, regardless how we define those needs. Key Takeaway Through communication, we meet universal human needs. Which types do you think fit you?

Which types fit some of your coworkers or classmates? Share your opinions with your classmates and compare your self-assessment with the types they believe describe you. Think of two or more different situations and how you might express your personal needs differently from one situation to the other. Have you observed similar variations in personal needs in other people from one situation to another?

How do you get to know other people? Communication allows us to share experiences, come to know ourselves and others, and form relationships, but it requires time and effort. At the same time you are coming to know them, they are changing, adapting, and growing—and so are you. Irwin Altman and Dalmas Taylor describe this progression from superficial to intimate levels of communication in social penetration theory, which is often called the Onion Theory because the model looks like an onion and involves layers that are peeled away.

The development of interpersonal relationships. According to social penetration theory, we fear that which we do not know. Strangers go from being unknown to known through a series of steps that we can observe through conversational interactions. People across cultures use a variety of signals to indicate neutral or submissive stances in relation to each other. A wave, a nod, or a spoken reference about a beautiful day can indicate an open, approachable stance rather than a guarded, defensive posture.

At the outermost layer of the onion, in this model, there is only that which we can observe. We can observe characteristics about each other and make judgments, but they are educated guesses at best. Our nonverbal displays of affiliation, like a team jacket, a uniform, or a badge, may communicate something about us, but we only peel away a layer when we engage in conversation, oral or written.

intrapersonal and interpersonal relationship skills at work

As we move from public to private information we make the transition from small talk to substantial, and eventually intimate, conversations. Communication requires trust and that often takes time.

Beginnings are fragile times and when expectations, roles, and ways of communicating are not clear, misunderstandings can occur. Some relationships may never proceed past observations on the weather, while others may explore controversial topics like politics or religion.

Increasingly, intimate knowledge and levels of trust are achieved over time, involving frequency of interaction as well as length and quality. Positive interactions may lead to more positive interactions, while negative ones may lead to less overall interaction. You are new to a position and your supervisor has been in his or her role for a number of years. Some people at your same level within the organization enjoy a level of knowledge and ease of interaction with your supervisor that you lack.

They may have had more time and interactions with the supervisor, but you can still use this theory to gain trust and build a healthy relationship. Recognize that you are unknown to your supervisor and vice versa. Start with superficial conversations that are neutral and nonthreatening, but demonstrate a willingness to engage in communication. Silence early in a relationship can be a sign of respect, but it can also send the message that you are fearful, shy, or lack confidence.

It can be interpreted as an unwillingness to communicate, and may actually discourage interaction. If the supervisor picks up the conversation, keep your responses short and light. If not, keep an upbeat attitude and mention the weather. Over time, the conversations may gradually grow to cross topics beyond the scope of the office, and a relationship may form that involves trust. If, however, you skip from superficial to intimate topics too quickly, you run risk of violating normative expectations.

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Trust takes time, and with that comes empathy and understanding. But if you share with your supervisor your personal struggles on day one, it may erode your credibility. According to the social penetration theory, people go from superficial to intimate conversations as trust develops through repeated, positive interactions. Self-disclosure Information, thoughts, or feelings we tell others about ourselves that they would not otherwise know. Taking it step by step, and not rushing to self-disclose or asking personal questions too soon, can help develop positive business relationships.

Principles of Self-Disclosure Write down five terms that describe your personal self, and five terms that describe your professional self. Once you have completed your two lists, compare the results.

They may have points that overlap, or may have words that describe you in your distinct roles that are quite different. This difference can be easy to address, but at times it can be a challenge to maintain. How do people know more about us? We communicate information about ourselves, whether or not we are aware of it. You cannot not communicate.

The language of change: Elements of therapeutic communication. From your internal monologue and intrapersonal communication, to verbal and nonverbal communication, communication is constantly occurring. What do you communicate about yourself by the clothes or brands you wear, the tattoos you display, or the piercing you remove before you enter the workplace?

Self-disclosure is a process by which you intentionally communicate information to others, but can involve unintentional, but revealing slips. Steven Beebe, Susan Beebe, and Mark Redmond offer us five principles of self-disclosure that remind us that communication is an integral part of any business or organizational setting.

Interpersonal communication relating to others 3rd ed. If you knew that office attire was primarily brown and gray suits? After you have worked within the organization, earned trust and established credibility, and earned your place in the community, the purple hat might be positively received with a sense of humor. In the same way, personal information is normally reserved for those of confidence, and earned over time.

Take small steps as you come to know your colleagues, taking care to make sure who you are does not speak louder than what you say. Self-Disclosure Moves from Impersonal to Intimate Information So you decided against wearing the purple hat to work on your first day, but after a successful first week you went out with friends from your college days.

You shut down the bar late in the evening and paid for it on Sunday. At work on Monday, is it a wise strategy to share the finer tips of the drinking games you played on Saturday night? Some people have serious substance abuse issues, and your stories could sound insensitive, producing a negative impact. You represent yourself, but you also represent your company and its reputation. You may ask your coworkers what they did, what it was like, who they met, and where they went, but eventually all conversations form a circle that comes back to you.

This aspect of conversation is universal. We expect when we reveal something about ourselves that others will reciprocate.

The dyadic effect The expectation that when we reveal something about ourselves, others will reciprocate. If you stay quiet or decline to answer after everyone else has taken a turn, what will happen? They may be put off at first, they may invent stories and let their imaginations run wild, or they may reject you.

It may be subtle at first, but reciprocity is expected. You have the choice of what to reveal and when.

What is the difference between Intra -personal & Interpersonal communication skills?

You may choose to describe your weekend by describing the friends and conversations while omitting any reference to the bar. You may choose to focus on your Sunday afternoon gardening activities. You may just say you read a good book and mention the title of the one you are reading. Regardless of what option you choose, you have the freedom and responsibility within the dyadic effect to reciprocate, but you have a degree of control.

You can learn to anticipate when your turn will come, and to give some thought to what you will say before the moment arrives. Sometimes the most innocent reference or comment can produce conflict when the conversational partners have little prior history. At the same time, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Self-disclosure involves risk, but can produce positive results. Self-Disclosure Involves Trust Before you mention the title of the book or movie you saw this weekend, you may consider your audience and what you know about them.

At the same time, if you feel safe and relatively secure, you may test the waters with a reference to the genre but not the author. You may also decide that it is just a book, and they can take it or leave it. The basics of interpersonal communication p Trust is a process, not a badge to be earned. It takes time to develop, and can be lost in a moment. Respect that confidence, and respect yourself. Also, consider the nature of the information. Some information communicated in confidence must see the light of day.

A professional understands that trust is built over time, and understands how valuable this intangible commodity can be to success. Interpersonal Relationships Interpersonal communication Communication between two people. This broad definition is useful when we compare it to intrapersonal communication, or communication with ourselves, as opposed to mass communication, or communication with a large audience, but it requires clarification.

The developmental view of interpersonal communication places emphasis on the relationship rather than the size of the audience, and draws a distinction between impersonal and personal interactions.

Your relationship with Iris will change as your roles transform. Her perspective will change, and so will yours. You may stay friends, or she may not have as much time as she once did. Over time, you and Iris gradually grow apart, spending less time together. You eventually lose touch. What is the status of your relationship? For many people the transaction is an impersonal experience, however pleasant. What is the difference between the brief interaction of a transaction and the interactions you periodically have with your colleague, Iris, who is now your manager?

The developmental view places an emphasis on the prior history, but also focuses on the level of familiarity and trust.


Over time and with increased frequency we form bonds or relationships with people, and if time and frequency are diminished, we lose that familiarity. The relationship with the clerk may be impersonal, but so can the relationship with the manager after time has passed and the familiarity is lost.

From a developmental view, interpersonal communication can exist across this range of experience and interaction. Review the lists you made for the third of the Note If you evaluate your list of what is important to you, will you find objects or relationships?

You may value your home or vehicle, but for most people relationships with friends and family are at the top of the list. Interpersonal relationships take time and effort to form, and they can be challenging. All relationships are dynamic, meaning that they transform and adapt to changes within the context and environment.

They require effort and sacrifice, and at times, give rise to the question, why bother? A short answer may be that we, as humans, are compelled to form bonds. But it still fails to answer the question, why? Uncertainty theory states that we choose to know more about others with whom we have interactions in order to reduce or resolve the anxiety associated with the unknown.

Some explorations in initial interactions and beyond: Toward a developmental theory of interpersonal communication. Human Communication Research, 1, 99— Uncertain outcome values in predicted relationships: Uncertainty reduction theory then and now. Human Communication Research, 13 134— The more we know about others, and become accustomed to how they communicate, the better we can predict how they will interact with us in future contexts.

If you learn that Monday mornings are never a good time for your supervisor, you quickly learn to schedule meetings later in the week. The predicted outcome value theory Asserts that not only do we want to reduce uncertainty, we also want to maximize our possible benefit from the association.

intrapersonal and interpersonal relationship skills at work

Predicted outcome value during initial interactions: A reformulation of uncertainty reduction theory. Human Communication Research, 3— Predicted outcome value and uncertainty reduction theory: A test of compting perspective.

Human Communication Theory, 17, 76— When ignorance is bliss: The role of motivation to reduce uncertainty in uncertainty reduction theory. Human Communication Research, 17, 5— This theory would predict that you would choose Tuesday or later for a meeting in order to maximize the potential for positive interaction and any possible rewards that may result. One theory involves the avoidance of fear while the other focuses on the pursuit of reward.

Together, they provide a point of reference as we continue our discussion on interpersonal relationships. Regardless of whether we focus on collaboration or competition, we can see that interpersonal communication is necessary in the business environment. We want to know our place and role within the organization, accurately predict those within our proximity, and create a sense of safety and belonging. Family for many is the first experience in interpersonal relationships, but as we develop professionally, our relationships at work may take on many of the attributes we associate with family communication.

We look to each other with similar sibling rivalries, competition for attention and resources, and support. The workplace and our peers can become as close, or closer, than our birth families, with similar challenges and rewards. Key Takeaways Interpersonal relationships are an important part of the work environment.

We come to know one another gradually. Self-disclosure involves risk and reward, and is a normal part of communication. Exercises Write down five terms that describe your personal self, and five terms that describe your professional self.

Compare your results with a classmate. Think of someone you trust and who trusts you. How did you come to have a mutually trusting relationship? How important do you think self-disclosure is in business settings?

Yet, all cultures have rituals of various kinds, and conversation is one of these universal rituals. A skilled business communicator knows when to speak, when to remain silent, and to always stop speaking before the audience stops listening.

Further, understanding conversation provides a solid foundation for our next discussion on employment interviewing. Employment interviews follow similar ritual patterns and have their own set of expectations.

Expectations may differ based on field, level, knowledge, and experience, but they generally follow the five steps of a basic conversation. Conversation as a Ritual Why discuss the ritual of conversation? Because it is one of the main ways we interact in the business environment, and it is ripe for misunderstandings.

Our everyday familiarity with conversations often makes us blind to the subtle changes that take place during the course of a conversation. Examining it will allow you to consider its components, predict the next turn, anticipate an opening or closing, and make you a better conversationalist. Steven Beebe, Susan Beebe, and Mark Redmond offer us five stages of conversation that are adapted here for our discussion. Initiation The first stage of conversation is called initiation The first stage of a conversation.

This conditioning can be good or bad, depending on the ultimate self-concept and self-talk. When the result is negative, mindset experts seek to help change internal narratives to help individuals achieve greater success both at work and in personal endeavors.

Intrapersonal Relationships for Success Self-awareness helps a person see where she is performing well and where she is not in relation to her surroundings.

There may be emotional reactions, judgments and choices happening that differ from scenario to scenario. An executive might be very calm in dealing with a problem with another executive, but might explode if a subordinate makes an error. Self-awareness through intrapersonal communication helps the executive understand how she is reacting in different situations and then direct a change of action that will be inspiring rather than demoralizing to her team.

Because a large chunk of your self-concept is developed as you mature, it is important to consider the influences of past experiences, the input of family, friends and colleagues, and the role as a leader you play within your own life. By adjusting reactions, self-talk and self-concepts, a person is able to build greater personal models for success.

Developing Intrapersonal Skills Improving and developing greater intrapersonal skills takes three primary components: Self-awareness uses personal assessment tools to monitor reactions.

intrapersonal and interpersonal relationship skills at work

It requires the confidence to understand that this is the first step to growth. It isn't enough to merely be aware of an explosive reaction to one group versus another. One must learn to curb what has become conditioned responses that seem like natural reactions.

This is why self-awareness progresses to self-regulation. To achieve success requires the right motivation to change internal thoughts, behaviors and self-concepts.